Today's Sunday Funnies 10_18

  • Oct 18, 2020
  • Michael Blank
  • Category: Prayer Alerts

Do you remember the SUNDAY Funnies – they were colored comic strips that brought us laughter and a sense of fun from the “bad news” of the world as reported.

What we need now is some comic relief – light-hearted fun to help us LAUGH again!

Please enjoy these JOKES and share them with your others that you LOVE!

Here is a LINK = https://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/blondie/  Actual comic strips

To “borrow” a line from comedian Michael Jr – I hope you laugh your MASKS OFF!

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When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge!

 

If smoking marijuana causes short-term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana do?

 

I don’t always go the extra mile. But when I do it’s because I missed the exit!

 

Old relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked for your X and wondered Y ?

 

I haven’t exercised in so long that my FITBIT just sent me a “Friend’s Request”!

 

There are people out there who are training for Marathons . . .  and here I am on the couch trying to lasso the remote control with my phone charger cord.

 

Dagg-gum-it, I wish one of my personalities would love to clean!

 

Imagine if spiders would scream at us whenever we found them!

 

I’m putting a vending machine in my yard for Halloween this year. I’ve got bills to pay!

 

Whenever I see a cow, I announce to everyone else in the car that there are cows.

 

I get upset when someone rings my doorbell, because I have to drop whatever I’m doing and be silent and pretend I’m NOT at home.

 

In “DOG” Beers – I’ve only had ONE!

 

You know you’re no longer in charge of your house when the dog decides what time to wake you up?  Just sayn’

 

You know you’re a DOG person when you ask the dog next to you to GO FIND the dog that is missing?

 

If a woman says – “DO WHAT YOU WANT” then do NOT do what you want! Stand still; do not blink; don’t even breathe; just play dead!

 

If you ever get locked out of your home or car, remain calm talk to the lock positively because ‘communication’ is the KEY!

 

Remember that one girl from high school that said she would only go out with you if the world was ending? Well, this may be the year to give her a call.  Just sayn’

 

Knowing my luck, I’ll be reincarnated as me again!

 

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin π

 

Be sure to bring up politics at the Thanksgiving Dinner. It will save you $$$ on Christmas Gifts.

 

EXERCISE ??  I thought you said “EXTRA FRIES”

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