Today's Sunday Funnies 10_11

  • Oct 11, 2020
  • Michael Blank
  • Category: Prayer Alerts

Do you remember the SUNDAY Funnies – they were colored comic strips that brought us laughter and a sense of fun from the “bad news” of the world as reported.

What we need now is some comic relief – light-hearted fun to help us LAUGH again!

Please enjoy these JOKES and share them with your others that you LOVE!

Here is a LINK = https://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/blondie/  Actual comic strips

To “borrow” a line from comedian Michael Jr – I hope you laugh your MASKS OFF!

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For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they are making a male version that does NOT listen to anything you say.

 

I saw a guy earlier today with no chin, and seriously all I could think about was: How does he put on a pillow case?  How does he fold a sheet?  How does he fold a blanket?

 

Mornings come in 3 sizes:  Early   &   Too Early   &   Way too EARLY!

 

I got a part-time job as a store greeter. Apparently – “You Again!” is NOT the greeting they had in mind.  Just sayn’

 

Touch my Coffee and I will slap you so hard, even GOOGLE won’t be able to find you!

 

ALEXA, what is the weather going to be like this week?  ANSWER: It does NOT matter you are not going anywhere!

 

The more I learn about some people, the more I understand why Noah only allowed animals on the Ark!

 

Starbucks is planning on selling beer & wine. Apparently it’s getting difficult to sell sober people a $12.00 cup of coffee!

 

Had a bad mix-up at the store today . . . when the cashier said strip down facing me, apparently she was referring to my credit card.

 

In 20 years from now when kids ask about the 2020 toilet paper shortage, I’m telling them we had to drag our butts across the lawn – in the snow – up hill both ways. While dodging the murdering hornets!

 

The “H” in DEMOCRAT stands for HONESTY!

 

Dear Pinterest: Thank you for making me feel creative & artful, even though I’ve been sitting at my computer all day!

 

I will do algebra & I will do trig & I will even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!

 

Parallel lines have so much in common . . .  It is a shame that they will never meet!

 

Why was the EQUAL sign so humble? He knew he wasn’t  >  or  <   anyone else!

 

Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots!

 

Never talk to a Mathematician about “infinity”. You’ll never hear the end of it!

 

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize that they meant “autumn” and not the collapse of civilization.  Know what I mean?

 

I want to be like Saul in the Bible where it says he was on the road to De-Masks-us!

 

I am old enough to remember when the only FAKE News was the National Enquirer!

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